In the Present

I’ve dealt with racism, my “estranged” grandmothers passing AND childhood emotional bs-this week.

And honestly–

it’s the LAST thing I want to talk about.

I had it all planned out.

“THIS IS GOING TO MAKE A GREAT BLOG!”

I thought of all the insight I’d share and all the feelings I felt hoping to reach someone and relate to them on a very raw, human level-as I always try to. Help someone out in a time where they may need my words. Or have someone reach out to me in the same way–taking their experience into my space.

But I don’t want to do that. I feel like I’ve dealt with those feelings, I’ve discussed them with myself time and time again and I am just ready to live in the present. Accept the past for everything it’s been for me, the future laid out for me to create something extraordinary, and the present to be felt, confronted and used.

A long kiss on my babys soft face.

A song I rediscover.

A hair curl.

I  can say bringing your child to an awkward function makes it decidedly LESS awkward.

It’s NEVER too late to love.

It’s NEVER too late to understand (if you’re open to it)

And it’s NEVER to0 late to forgive.

But, it can be too late to say what you’ve been thinking. To have a conversation with someone who may not be here tomorrow. Or you-may not be here tomorrow.

People say that as cliche, but what can be more true than mortality? Is there anything more clear than that?

I cant “make up” for lost time but I can make sure I don’t lose anymore of it with people that could matter, over things that no longer do.

As for the racist dude that lorded over me in the bar this week-get bent.

Off feeling things,

Beaufield.

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